For those of you wondering what I’m using to blog with, I’m using WordPress, which runs on a database system at the hosting provider of my choice. The nice thing about it is that I have complete control over it and the data within. Hopefully I’ll become even more proficient at this stuff and be able to exploit my God-given talents for all the world to see.
God will give you something to do…
So, it seems that God answers prayers. The horrible fact of the matter is that He answers them when He wants to, and ninety-nine times out of tenty-ten, He answers them too dern fast.
I asked for something to fill my days. I want something to do. I need to network; I need to grow.
Wow, so, today I was bogged down non-stop with things to do. I awoke a bit late (snicker snicker for all you full-time folk), around 9:30, and groggled out of my sleep mode to find a message on my phone, etc., etc., I won’t bore you. Basically, I went non-stop all day, and I laid a laminate floor at Church for the Nations too.
The bottom line is, God will give you something to do if you ask Him to.
Registered for School
I’m 33. I don’t have a degree. It’s not required to be successful. My problem is that if I am not enrolled in some sort of program or a member of some sort of club with an itinerary, my level of motivation slows me down.
I am one of the most talented individuals that I know, but I have trouble believing that I can do things that are “nearly impossible” from my point of view. Others would probably think that to be ridiculous, but it’s a struggle for me. I am deathly afraid of confrontation, and it’s extremely difficult for me to ask people for what I want, because I don’t think that they would give me the time of day if I asked for it.
This is something I am asking God to change in my life. I want the courage to be successful in the areas I have been gifted without it being contingent upon meeting the conditions or expectations that I place upon myself.
I don’t know how to market myself.
Typing a million words a minute…
I’ve recently taken on the tedious task of typing up my entire journal from 1994/95 so it is permanently stored online instead of in a volatile paper format which I have been lugging around for years…10 years to be exact…actually, 11 years. Anyway, if you’re interested in seeing what it was like to tour with Camfel Productions from my perspective, check out the Camfel category on the right. Thanks.
1908
My grandmother was born in 1908. This is my father’s mother. She was a musician. She was a songwriter, and she is very beautiful to me.
My grandmother suffers with dimentia. She does not know me anymore, nor does she know her two sons, my father, and my uncle. I should rephrase. My grandmother is spared the suffering that life offers because of dimentia. She does not remember enough to be upset at any point in time. She always talks about the Lord…that, she does remember.
Her name is Evelyn Griffith. She was married to my grandfather, John Griffith for over 50 years. Grandad died when I was 22 in 1994, the same week that I embarked upon a monumental journey with a multi-media company called Camfel Productions. It was difficult to imagine that I would no longer see him in person. However, one year later to the day that he died, I had a dream while I slept and in that dream I met with him and told him that I love him (certainly not unspoken words while he was alive, I love him very much and he I, and I said it often.) He said goodbye to me in that dream. It was closure for me.
Baca Baca (Evelyn) wrote beautiful songs and she was even published. She wrote a song to my grandfather called “Delta Sweetheart of my Dreams.” She also wrote a fight song called “Maroon and White” for a college back east.
Why am I posting this? I hadn’t seen her in over a year. She’s 97 years old, and she doesn’t really remember that I’ve visited, nor does she remember who I am. I have had plenty of time, practically a decade, to deal with these facts, so it’s not as hard as it may sound. Her mental health has deteriorated over the years, but physically and spiritually, she just keeps on truckin. She’s been in full time care for about 5 years now, and last week she was admitted to the hospital with a blood clot in her leg. I visited with my dad and uncle (the three boys as she used to call us) on Saturday after Fuel rehearsal, and I was amazed to see how aged she was. The last photo I have of her was on Christmas day of 2000 and it’s hard to remember exactly what someone looks like when you only see them twice a year, if that.
She will be gone soon. I can feel it in my heart. As she lay in her bed, she stared at the wall below the television, seemingly locked in a gaze with something that neither you nor I would be able to see. It was clear that she could see beyond this world. She loves the Lord so much and He has been very merciful to her. Grandad fell asleep and never woke up. Baca Baca will also. Watching her eyes focused on Christ was comforting. It will be hard to see her go, and I will grieve deeply. Even now, thoughts of her absence bring deep sentiment forward.
I will miss her dearly when He takes her home, but I am anxious to see her set free from an expired body and mind. Praise God.
Update. It’s 2008 and she is still around after reaching her 100th birthday. She’s on her way to 101.
Talk about flippin’ annoying!
I used to operate a blog that I called AOC – Addiction of Choice which had at least 5 months of daily postings. I have completely lost track of the data. I have no idea where it went. So, I’m posting this to let you know that I’m an idiot. Bonafide. Perhaps this site will be tended to more diligently.