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Real Estate Services by Jon Griffith

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Introducing, Mirowww

December 1, 2010 by admin

Let me be blatantly clear. I am a dog person.

About 7 or 8 years ago, I had a roommate, a female roommate. She liked cats. She wanted to bring a cat home with her. Home to my house. It was a foster cat and she asked me if it would be okay. I said, sure, “as long as the cat doesn’t destroy my carpet.” 2 cats were introduced on that day…she snuck a kitten in. How can you say no to a kitten?

The cats destroyed the carpet.

The kitten massaged my back.

The roommate moved to Germany.

Sometimes Mirowww brings birds into my house and kills them and eats them.

The foster cat had 6 toes on its front paws. I didn’t want that cat. It was freaky. It looked like it had already been buried in the Pet Semetery. Thanks a lot Mr. King.

Did I mention the kitten gives good massages? Well, that’s the cat that I agreed to “watch” for a month, “or so.” Like I said, this happened about 7 or 8 years ago.

This is Mirowww. That’s her name. For real. It’s Mirowww. Every morning Mirowww wakes me up with her name, which basically translates to, “let me out human, I have to shit, eat, then beg for attention again.”

Every night, when I jump under my covers, Miroww creeps up to my pillow (I don’t use pillows like you do,) and paws her way under the covers, then snuggles up against me and falls asleep. She’s never there when I wake up. It probably has to do with how far I throw her in the middle of the night.

Mirowww runs back and forth sometimes…for no reason at all. She chases nothing. If I have a laser pointer, she goes nuts. If I wrap her up in my sheets and poke her head, she bites me. Mirowww leaves gifts around the house sometimes. On occasion, she’ll produce a ball of … never mind… it sounds, and looks like spilled coffee with drain-hair.

Miroww lets me hold her and clip her claws. She can’t reproduce, but she can climb things if I let her front claws grow too long. Mirowww drinks out of my toilet less often than she laps up the shower water. She’ll sit on the edge of the tub and wait for the water to drain (as she believes there’s something in the drain and wants to be sure the water has left) and then jump into the tub and lick, and lick and lick until she’s had enough.

Mirowww has her own door. She can come and go whenever she pleases. She eats whenever she wants. Mirowww also rubs herself against every outside corner of every door, wall, and cabinet, leaving greasy cat dirt that I have to clean up. Oh, and she also sheds the equivalent of 3 kittens-worth of fur per week. I’m considering knitting a cat-hair beanie for my morning walks.

She talks to me. That’s all.

Filed Under: Family Tagged With: coffee, eat, It Mirowww, Pet Semetery, Sometimes Mirowww

Coffee Consensus

September 7, 2005 by admin

I found many many articles on the internet that make claims that consuming coffee makes it harder to lose weight because of various factors. Here is an excerpt:

Caffeine intake often perpetuates many of the factors contributing to weight gain and continued obesity. Coffee and caffeine intake aggravates stress, including physical, mental, and emotional stress, leading to increased levels of the glucocorticoids including cortisol. A well documented relationship exists between chronically elevated levels of these stress hormones and deposition of excess fat in the abdomen leading to obesity as well as increased caloric intake, particularly increased ingestion of fats and sugars.4

Filed Under: Tips and Tricks Tagged With: caffeine, coffee, relationship

Instant Coffee is a Beautiful Thing

August 10, 2005 by admin

Instant coffee, a beautiful thing,
It makes me laugh, it makes me sing,
It makes my heart go pingle-dee-ping,
much faster than it should.

Instant coffee, a beautiful sight,
It makes me restless through the night,
It pumps my blood likes thieves in flight,
much faster than it should.

Instant coffee, a wonderful drink,
It makes my mouth develop a stink,
It slithers when washed away in the sink,
much faster than it should.

Instant coffee, a beautiful drug,
It makes me happy when poured in a mug,
and down the old gullet it slips with a glug,
much faster than it should.

Instant coffee, you ought to try
I can’t much offer reasons why
But when don’t have it, you’ll rush to the store,
much faster than you should.

I have recently discovered instant coffee. For some reason, the entire concept has eluded me for years. I have been drinking coffee for about 5 years now, and I usually picked it up at the local convenient store or Starbucks, but now I have changed my outlook.  I have had my first cup of instant coffee, and it tastes just as good as any other type of coffee I have had, for less than I was spending before.

Filed Under: Creative Writing Tagged With: caffeine, coffee, drugs, heart, instant, instant coffee, offer, spending

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