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The Charmin Experience

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Originally posted December 17th, 2006 during what I believe was my second visit to Manhattan

Well, you’re probably not going to believe this unless you see it, so I’ve posted a video of someone’s recent toilet experience in Manhattan. When Susan and I were there we stopped in.  As we passed through Times Square, we saw across the street a billboard for Charmin. Thinking nothing of it, we decided to continue walking along. If you have never been to NY, you aren’t aware of how difficult it is to find a public restroom. I think I had to buy a coffee for every pitstop I made along the way. You can’t just walk into a quaint restaurant to pee.

Please click the video to the right to see how crazy this was

It wasn’t until the next day that we were once again walking through Times Square when we realized that we could simply go to the Charmin experience to use the restroom. We imagined that it was a simple entrance to a public restroom. We were terribly mistaken. It was a complete production. There was an escalator, there were employees, there was music, a stage, dancing teenagers, and rowdy “customers” all having a good time for one singular purpose; peeing. (well, not just peeing.)

Private, personal, relaxing!

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Last night, while Susan rested after crunching numbers all evening, I sat alone at my computer listening to nearly all of Enya’s Watermark album…I ran out of soft music to listen to. Then I realized that my heart hadn’t even begun to think of worship today. I quickly found my worship music and sank into oblivion listening to one of my favorite songs, Purified as performed by Michael W. Smith:

Where the angels see
You are praised as You should be
But how can I express
My yearning for Your Holiness
May it be that

I will open up my heart
Search me in the deepest part.
And I will stand in cleansing fire,
By You, purified
By You I’m purified.

To your strength I yield control.
Purge me from my stain
Sin will lose it’s mortal reign
Make me free! and

I will open UP my heart
Search me in the deepest part.
And I will stand in cleansing fire,
By You, purified,
By You I’m purified.

Okay, I’ll bite. My 31 Confessions…

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1. I am a Christian.
2. When I eat nutty bars, I eat them one layer at a time.
3. I like amber beers mostly.
4. Panda Express is my nutritional weakness in life. Orange Chicken rules.
5. I am an Arizona native.
6. Regardless of my spritiual condition, I do have a racist bone in my body, but I’d like to say, like most, that I don’t. I don’t like that I do though.
7. I’m very hairy, so I shave most of it off.
8. I’m a terribly nervous pianist.
9. When I read, if ever, it’s usually a help file or a text book.
10. I’d prefer to know how to do something rather than know the history of it.
11. I battle gingivitus.
12. I bite my fingernails when I get nervous.
13. I can’t maintain callouses on my fingers from playing the guitar. I like to rip them off, cause they drive me mad.
14. Touch is very important to me. Callouses prevent that.
15. I have a hard time asking for what I want in life.
16. I don’t believe I can meet my own standards for attraction.
17. My life has been a never-ending struggle with weight loss.
18. My dream job: being in the spotlight.
19. My left knee tingles when I use a certian elliptical model.
20. Boobs are more imporant to me than they should be.
21. I love women.
22. I’m very sensitive, and I can listen well.
23. I too am left-handed.
24. I have probably farted next to you without you knowing.
25. Movie quotes slip my mind. I suck at that game.
26. I can memorize hour-long pieces of chorale music like Gabriel Fauré’s Requiem.
27. I’m terrified of popsicles.
28. Bananas used to make my lips itch.
29. 80’s music rules.
30. I watch far too many movies.
31. I’m really a lesbian in a man’s body.

MAC Attack…

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My first computer was an Atari, technically. My actual first personal computer, designed for personal computing, was an Apple IIc with a 5.25″ floppy disk drive. It was a predecessor to the GUI.

I played games on it. That was probably the only thing that I did, until I found that my new best friend, Chad Taylor, also had the same computer. I met Chad about 3 years after I had been given the computer for Christmas. We swapped hundreds of programs and games. Most of my time was spent in Zork, text based adventures; silly programs that you actually typed commands into like, “Pick up rock,” or “Take Jewell Encrusted Egg.” These were simple things. When Chad gave me Appleworks, I began my journey to typing mastery. I typed my MATH homework even. How ridiculous. My parents realized I needed a printer and bought one for me. Dot matrix baby.

A few years later, a handful of my friends ended up with the Macintosh! It had a MOUSE!?! I became creative. I never had one, but I always visited my friends’ houses to use theirs. And most of it was painting, or learning how to use spreadsheets…and an occasional round of Sim City.

As time passed, the IBM PC took over, and I ended up getting sucked into the technical aspect of computing, which led me to computer repair. I focused alot on tearing apart computers. My first IBM compatible was an IBM 8088 with a green monitor. It was with this computer that I wrote my first sequenced music pieces. They are long gone. And so was the creativity and freedom to simply use a computer for what it was intended. The next eighty three gajillion hours was spent on troubleshooting IBM crap! I’m 33 now, and I have recently acquired a Powerbook, and I have slowly migrated most of my creative efforts to that platform. I write music on it, I record on it, I blog on it. There’s nothing I can’t see myself doing on it, EXCEPT, all of the technical crap that my XP platform forces me to deal with. Bottom line, Apple has tapped my creativity and I will probably never use my PC for anything more than serving the web and running my accounting and personal finances. It’s just not as friendly as this beautiful PowerBook!

And just think, only recently was I a die-hard PC freak with words like Macintrash, and Trashintosh oozing from my mouth.

I write more, I create more, I desire more, now that I have the freedom to do so. Computing with a Mac is like driving a rail through the rocks at 100 miles/hour. Computing with a PC is like riding a tricycle on the beach.

(P.S. There’s a better analogy than that, but it’s freaking 1:30 in the morning and I’m tired.)

Good Night!